Cologne

I have mixed feelings about Cologne. I found my hostel as soon as I arrived and dumped my stuff, then went to explore as much as I could in the day I had. I went to the Museum Ludwig first (when I say first, I mean after getting some currywurst - rhymes), which has the largest collection of pop art outside of the US. It also has the largest collection of Picasso work I've ever seen, along with some truly baffling modern art centred around tits and things. I could go into some of my favourites and what I thought was evocative about them, but I feel I waffled on far too much about the Van Gogh museum the other day to maintain your interest in the rest of my pointless drivel. That, and I can't be arsed.

An incredibly imposing room in the museum

After that I had a walk through the cathedral, which is an incredibly threatening structure; it's more dark and scorched than most churches in Britain, and violently pointy. The stained-glass window depictions range from the signs of the zodiac to poor bastards getting stoned to death. The red ropes cut off so much of the cathedral that you really are restricted in what you're allowed to see, and I was in and out in less that 20 minutes. Saying that, I've never been into a church that lets you go down into the crypt before today. Although I've also never been into a church that has automatic sliding doors like some theological quick-fix supermarket.

From there I wandered along the Rhine in the sunshine (also rhymes) to the Altstadt - the old town - for a beer and some schnitzel. It's a bit of a misnomer as the all buildings had to be reconstructed after the war, but they retained what would have been their 17th century appearance. I was glad of the shade as the day had become absolutely stifling, and my walk to explore the Neumarkt wasn't as pleasant as it should have been, especially as I didn't find much there of interest. The highlight was the wedding shop, ironically called a Schmuckgalerie. I also found the shop from where the original eau de Cologne came, which was advertised with a drawing of Russian bloke shagging some bird. No lie.

Sun down by the Rhine

Part of the Altstadt

Eau de Cologne: for the Russian pervert in all of us

Cologne is probably amazing near Christmas with its world-famous markets, but at the height of summer it isn't so compelling, lacking the historic architecture and artistic counterculture that makes the other cities in Germany I've visited the fascinating places they are. Basically, I've been sat in an Irish pub for the last few hours watching the ashes.