A review

I've been thinking about the places I stayed in on my trip. I was lucky enough to be able to stay with a few friends and family here and there which was, of course, lovely, but I'm going to talk about which were the best and worst places I paid to sleep. Before I start, I would just like to clarify that they were all absolutely not sleazy.

There were a couple of towns that lacked hostels or reasonably-priced B&Bs, so, where stuck for options, I stayed in Travelodges. What can you really say about Travelodges? Semi-cheap and basic, there's the uneasy sense that you're sharing the hotel exclusively with Mondeo-driving middle management types and Fathers For Justice members, but at least the room is (hopefully) clean, with an en-suite bathroom and you don't have to share with a load of foreigners. Hostels tend to be cheaper, but there is the added gamble of who you're going to be sleeping with; before this trip I'd never stayed in a hostel where I didn't know everyone else in my room and that was certainly a concern before I left. Hostels do have communal feels to them though, and there are always people around who can help or are willing to share if you're short of something, and that's certainly not what the tear-stained corridors of a Travelodge are about.

Bath Backpackers was utterly unremarkable in every sense. Basic to the point of disrepair, it was as rough and ready as they come. Cold and creaky, my room was on the 4th floor and, with the showers being in the basement like some horrific setup in a scene from Hostel, it was a long way back up again. The showers themselves were uninviting, cold, dribbly and had a manky feel to them. I did not enjoy walking on the floor. If you're out exploring the entire day and are just needing a place to crash, I would recommend it for price, but it's certainly not a place to hang out.

The Fort Boutique hostel in York wasn't like any of the hostels I've stayed in before. The dorms were split up into apartments, each with a shower, toilet and kitchen with full appliances; it felt more like a weird flatshare where everyone sleeps in the same room. My room was a bit noisy with there being 6 people, but they were certainly the friendliest and most talkative lot out of all the people from the hostels I stayed in. Stonegate in York is a very noisy street as well; the dustmen come around 5am, followed by the beer delivery guys for the bar next door, who
 seemed to be playing an Olde English sport where the winner is the one who can toss their beer barrel down the cobbled street the loudest.

As I mentioned before, the imaginatively-named Kendal Hostel was spoiled by the snoremonster from Dumpsville. Out of all the hostels I stayed in, it was the furthest from the station. It was also a rather odd place, much like Kendal itself, and the reception had very strange opening and closing times that you'd normally expect to see only in a sleepy back country village. The kitchen was stocked full of equipment and utensils, and the hostel clearly houses a few semi-permanent residents, which I think is weird. I had to buy a cheap towel as they didn't offer any, and I was a little concerned that every lock on every shower and toilet door was knackered. It was also where I saw a guy put on District 9 in the DVD player in the lounge, watch 15 minutes of it, then turn it off because it was "rubbish". Clearly a twat. There is a lack of hostels in Kendal so I would say it was an ok place to stay if you were visiting the town, but then I wouldn't recommend doing that in the first place.

The Albatross hostel in Newcastle had the potential to be the best, if it wasn't for my pleasant pleasant PLEASANT fellow guests. A minute's walk from the station, it feels like it's round the corner from everywhere in town and has a games room, a massive kitchen and an even bigger lounge with computers for guests (by which I mean there are computers for guests to use, not that the guests have been replaced by computers). Its large, open rooms and corridors give it a light, neat feel, but that all helped to amplify the noise from my inconsiderate German pals. The staff were certainly friendly and offered a comprehensive introduction to the place that answered every question I was going to ask. The showers were absolutely fantastic, warm and spacious, and I didn't have to wait once to use one. Having an entire 4 bed dorm to myself would've made for an amazingly relaxing stay if I had actually been allowed to sleep.

The runaway winner though wasn't a hostel, but the Old Post Office in Shrewsbury. Obviously, you may say, a B&B should always be better than a hostel, but at a price not far off all the hostels I stayed in, an atmosphere far superior to every Travelodge on Earth and a humongous full English breakfast in with the price for my double bed and private room, it was definitely the most comforting, relaxing place I stayed. The toilet and shower room were shared, but as I didn't see another guest the whole time I was there, and ignoring a little jaunt down the corridor to get to them, it felt like they were private as well. If you visit Shrewsbury, which I would recommend, it's a great place to stay if you get a deal like mine.

My new driving licence came this morning. Time to rent a car.